Up until the day I found out baby Tillman was on the way, I'd have to say I was/am pretty career focused and focused on getting to that next step. Once I heard the news, my whole thinking changed from
career women to
working mom (some would say I'm not a mom until that baby is born, but the decision you make now certainly effect your family when you're a mom). It has been really difficult to put the career aspirations on hold (
many tears shed and worrying over this). After all, Tillman hasn't arrived, and I really have no idea what to expect. The only thing I know is my current life style, and the way things are now.
Being content with where I am is easier said than done with a child on the way. Most advice received is that I don't need to take anything on, but it is hard to change that mindset before my life has changed. At 33 weeks pregnant, I feel like unambitious career women who is anticipating a life change, but in the mean time, I just have to be content while others continue to climb the ladder of success.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful we had not trouble getting pregnant, and I want nothing more in the world to be a mom. However, reality is I'll have to create work-life balance and forgo career opportunities. I don't think I can be a career women and a great mom (
after all, I hear these comments like "your most important job is to be a mom...your career, well, that really doesn't matter...heard it from a "top dog" at my work just this weekend). I am sure those unique situations of great mom and career women exist, but the opportunities I've been faced in my career don't allow it. I can't work all the time and be a good mother who spends time with her child, tries to breastfeed until a year of age, gets supper on the table every night, keeps a clean house, be a good wife and has enough energy to get up the next morning.
My career women brain tells me that I am wasting my talent by being content, but my working mom brain tells me we can't move to take that great job in VA (
it's perfect; everything I ever wanted (pay, job, an excited boss who shares the same passion. They came looking for me...something I didn't apply for), but it is in Virginia and of course, I'm pregnant), we have to scrutinize employer benefits and not just get excited over the huge salary increase (
I can't pay $700 a month in healthcare when I'm currently paying $275 for our whole family and I can't wait a year to be on your retirement plan although the salary number is attractive and the offer is local), really question the hours of a job (
what time would I actually get home at night to be seen as successful to the practice? W
ould I suffer as that mom never making it to a t-ball game?), question "
do they have a medical spending account and daycare account," and the list goes on and on.
I stopped the career hunt a while back, but with everything that is when the opportunities come to you. It is kind of like dating...once you are with someone everyone seems interested in asking you on a date (you could have gone YEARS without someone asking and now they are lining up). No different with jobs. Since I've been pregnant, employers have come out of the woodwork to chat. Here are some of the things I've heard...."
Oh, I found your resume on ACHE, can you fly up this weekend for an interview?"; "I looked at your profile on LinkedIn, and would like to consider you for one of the hospital I recruit for." ; See someone at a party "hey, what are you doing now, I'm looking to hire someone like you, could you meet us this week for an interview?"
WHERE WERE YOU PEOPLE A YEAR AGO????????????????
If you have made it to this point in my post, thanks for following me through my rant. I am truly grateful for my current situation and will be content with it. Success in dollars and cents might be delayed or forever forgone, but I am sure there is a balance of happiness and joy through being a mom. After all, this might be the place in life God intends me to be. I am sure there is teaching behind it...like patients, being grateful for what I do have, etc.